Cinderella “plot holes” I am tired of hearing about
“Why didn’t her step family recognize her?” Because royal balls were basically the candle lit equivalent of clubbing in terms of both lighting and sheer numbers. Even if they were right next to her, they probably wouldn’t get a good look, especially since it would have started after sundown. Also, she was the help; they probably hadn’t looked at her in years.
“Looking for someone based on their shoe size is stupid!” See above.
“Was he going to have every size seven in the kingdom try the slipper on?” Prior to industrialization most garments were made by hand to fit the buyer’s measurements, including shoes. It’s why poor people only had one pair. It’s a lot smarter when you consider that they would’ve fit her like a glove.
“You can’t run down stairs in heels!” I know this is a misconception resulting from historical revisionism and disneyfication, but high heels were not originally women’s shoes. They were worn by men. Women wore slippers, which were basically ballet flats. So it’s debatable.
“Glass shoes don’t make any sense!” Okay first of all, it’s called the suspension of disbelief, and secondly, they’re gold in every other version but Perrault decided to change them to something else expensive.
“She just went to the ball to find a man!” I know this isn’t a plot hole but listen. As the daughter of a widower Cinderella would’ve been running the household finances and acting as hostess if he hadn’t remarried. By demoting Cinderella to a servant, her step-mother essentially guaranteed that she would never escape the house, because the only way for her to escape and maintain her status was to marry well, and no one was going to marry a servant. It was essentially the historical equivalent of your mom stealing your college acceptance letters out of the mailbox.
this was not an analysis i was prepared for, i’ll tell you that
can i get a hell yeah for my mentally ill/lgbt kids who turned to this site at a very young age because we saw it as an outlet to express everything we were conditioned not to express in real life and then subsequently got exposed to so much unhealthy shit
i didn’t forget homestuck it was on here originally but that’s not a deadly sin. that’s like…idk man homestuck exists as its own separate entity it cannot be categorized. thank you
its december. its almost christmas. you missed out on being skinny this winter—that’s fine.
it’s okay. you’re still pretty, okay? i love you.
but hear me out. admit you missed your goal to be at your ugw going into 2019. it feels like failure, it sucks, it’s embarassing to miss your goal by THIS much. but hey, it’s okay. i promise. you’ll be alright.
because look. june is a whole SEVEN MONTHS away. in seven months you can easily lose 50-70 lbs. summer bodies are made in the winter, you hear me?
repeat after me.
summer
bodies
are
made
in
the
winter.
take it slow, make it manageable. increase your cal limits to stop binges, drink your damn tea. don’t weigh yourself everyday—do it one a week, once every other week if you can. hit the gym, pop some squats and run some miles. do a couple sit ups. throw some dumbbells around. find some hobbies. get your zzzs, make sure you eat your shrubbery and get those vitamins. we’re trying to be skinny, not dead. drink the clear splashy stuff.
you’re going to be SO fucking skinny by june. when you drop your sweats and oversized shirts, you’re going to be so so pretty in your bikini and crop tops and short shorts.
when everyone’s embarassed at the beach that they stuffed themselves full this winter, they’ll be so fucking jealous of you.
it’s okay if you didn’t make it to your goal this year.
dumbkiwi 